When you are pregnant with your first child, everybody asks if you are scared for the delivery. I always wanted to say, “Yes dipshit, I am scared shitless to push a human out of my vagina, but what can you do?” People tell you every horror story of delivery, how awful theirs was, etc., etc. However, nobody quite warned me of the pain that followed. Not to get too graphic, but there was some serious tearing action going on that required about 30 stitches, so to say I was in some postpartum pain is a bit of an understatement. People just don’t talk about what happens to your body after the baby comes and despite my research, I was in for a shock of a lifetime. It took me about 6 weeks to be able to fully sit down without being in pain whether that was on the toilet or the couch. The spectacle that was going pee was definitely the show of a lifetime.
On that note. Peeing. This is how peeing will look for you for the first few weeks.
Fill the squirt bottle you are given right after delivery (because being given a squirt bottle to pee is the first thing you are thinking about after popping out a kid) with warm water but be sure it isn’t too hot otherwise it will burn like a bitch but if it is too cold it will hurt even worse, if that is possible. Squirt said bottle up your vagina while peeing and do not run out of that water otherwise peeing will be the worst 30 seconds of your life. No wiping. Ew, no wiping. Replace your padsicle (thank God I made those padsicles) in your jumbo underwear.
So here are a few things I highly recommend for a mama having a vaginal birth. I did not have a c-section so I cannot comment on what is best for that.
1. Pads, Always Infinity With Wings – These were great because they are super thin, but have a heavy absorbency.
2. Stool softener, Colace – Do not, I repeat, do not skip on the stool softener.
3. Padsicle – I found a tutorial for these little gems on Pinterest, and boy were they a lifesaver. Of course, if you can get like 50 ice packs from the hospital, do that first. These are the next best thing. Take a pad, open it up, squirt a little bit of witch hazel liquid & aloe vera on the inside, fold back up (individually) and put them in the freezer. It is key to not put too much of the liquid and put it all the way from the front to the pack. If you tear, you will need it all the way up the back. If you make these in advance and end up having a C-section, keep them in the freezer and donate to a friend who is about to have a baby.
4. Tucks pads – These are recommended if you get hemorrhoids (thanking my lucky stars I didn’t get these bad boys) but I still used these every day. They were very cool and had some nice healing ingredients in them, so I would sometimes put them on top of my pads. I used the entire jar from the hospital and the large jar I bought from amazon.
5. Lanonlin cream – Have this stuff every where. Your nipples will be oh so sore for a week or so!
6. Nursing pads – you will need these when you start leaking…and you will. It may take a few weeks to start leaking, but once you do, you will be happy to have these on hand.
7. Soothie gel pads – These were a total life saver! These will heal your sore, cracked nipples in no time.
8. Nursing tank – These were great for wearing around the house and provided easy access when we had guests over. The top easily unsnaps and can be snapped back in to place with one hand.
9. Nursing bras – I bought this basic one to get by until my milk came in and I knew how big my boobs would be and then I went back and bought a few others from Target.
10. Nursing sleeping bras – These are great because you don’t have to mess with the clips in the middle of the night – and quite honestly I wear these all the time, even though I am no longer breastfeeding. Oh, and if you were wondering, “Do I really need to wear a bra while sleeping?” The answer is yes. You need a bra and nursing pads, because you guessed it, you will leak throughout the night!
11. Perineal Irrigation Bottle – Our hospital gave us one, but these are cheap enough to buy to have on hand just in case. You will not want to pee without one of these.
12. As a note, I am not sure where to buy these, but your hospital will provide you with these mesh underwear. Seriously hoard and stash as many pairs as you possibly can. These little gems are so comfy, I wish I had like 60 pairs during recovery.
13. Big underwear – You will want to buy some cheap, big undies that you won’t care if they get ruined. I can’t stand granny panties so I bought boy shorts. I actually got mine during a Victorias Secret sale which made them cheaper than Target, but definitely check out Target for some cheap pairs you won’t mind throwing out.
14. Sitz bath – I actually did not do this so I don’t have any recommendations, but I know a lot of friends tried this out.
15. Pain medicine – My doctor prescribed some pain killers for me, and that’s what I took religiously for a few weeks.
Now if this hasn’t gotten you excited for child birth and recovery, I don’t know what will!